Of Bonds and Daggers (The Curse of Gods Book 1) by Dakota Monroe

Author:Dakota Monroe [Monroe, Dakota]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Independent
Published: 2023-12-06T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17

After everything that happened last night, I am itching to get out of this place and back on the move. Now that I’ve had time to think, I feel unsettled about what everyone saw. The others insisted on cleaning up the camp, so I’m sitting on a rock, watching them, and picking at the skin on my fingers. Something I’m doing a lot of lately.

Karis is putting away the bed rolls and keeps shooting me concerned glances. Taryn has asked me a dozen times now if I needed anything, and even Ansa sat with me for a few minutes, making cute baby animals out of her fire magic. I’m doing my best to be pleasant and give them all smiles; I’m just not feeling right, so it’s difficult. They must notice, though, because none of them have come over to me for a while.

I look to where Casmir and Emrys are having a conversation, far enough away that nobody else can hear. I know they’re talking about me. One of them looks my way every so often; I’m not surprised I’m the gossip of the morning. After what they saw me go through a few hours ago, I wouldn’t even be shocked if they decided to throw me in a hospital for my own good. Do they even have hospitals here? I don’t recall seeing one in Ceross. How does anyone get help if there aren’t any doctors? Now that I think of it, Fen mentioned that fae heal faster than mortals due to the magic in their blood, and also rarely get sick because of it.

It’s not impossible to become ill, though. Casmir’s mother can attest to that. I look closer at him, noticing a slight darkening under his eyes, his hair looks like he’s run his hands through it too many times to count, and there’s clear tension in his body. Emrys doesn’t look much different physically, though if he’s at all stressed about anything, he’s not showing it. He looks as calm and collected as ever; bored, even.

Something is happening between the three of us, and I don’t know what it is. I don’t think they know, either. I believe they’re feeling the same things I am, from what I’ve seen, and none of us seem to want to talk about it. And as much as I’ve been trying to fight my reactions, not wanting to trust anyone again, I can no longer deny the way I feel when I’m around them. It feels otherworldly. I have a hunch that whatever is happening between us has to do with whoever rearranged my brain, just like everything else that’s going on.

I stand to walk down the path a ways, not planning to get so far ahead of the group that they won’t catch up. I just need to move. I have to stop thinking before I drown in another stream of tears. I need to wait until I’m alone before I allow myself to feel it all.

So instead, I put down one foot after the other and take slow, deep breaths to help me regulate.

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